Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
