we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
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