I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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