I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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