It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
