Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
How external is "for external use only"?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
