He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
