Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
