I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
