did you get engaged???
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
