I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
