Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
did i walk over a car last night?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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