just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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