With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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