I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
