The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
