Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
