were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize