did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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