never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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