you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
