Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
This is classic penis vs brain.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
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