And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
