you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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