I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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