Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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