This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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