Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
