I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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