Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Someone came in the potted fern
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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