youre lurking in front of me
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
