Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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