She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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