Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
