Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
