We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize