i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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