i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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