Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
