so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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