I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
