haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize