i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
