I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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