It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
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