3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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