Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize