Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
