For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i think i just lost a toe
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize