she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
