Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
