You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
