After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
