Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
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How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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