remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
