you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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